If you’ve ever been offended by a word, it wasn’t the word that offended you. If you’ve ever been offended by a pronoun, it wasn’t the pronoun that offended you. If you’ve ever been offended by a certain holiday, it wasn’t the holiday that offended you. If you’ve ever been offended by a mascot, a team nickname or a statue, it was none of those things that offended you. If you’ve ever been offended at all, it was not the thing that offended you, it was you. It was your willingness-your choice-to allow the thing to offend you.
And here’s a secret: You can remove all statues, replace “he” and “her” with “they,” you can call it “chest feeding” instead of “breast feeding,” you can call it “birthing person” in place of “mother.” You can change team nicknames and logos. You can remove it all or change it all and you’re still going to be offended because it is not the thing that offends, it is you. And if you remove, change, or replace the you find offensive, I guarantee you will find something else about which to be offended because removing all the stuff doesn’t take care of the root problem. The root problem is the mindset you have that you want to be offended. It’s all on you.
So now the question becomes, “What do I do when I’m feeling offended?” The answer: you need to look within. Ask yourself, “Do I want to be offended? Do I want to be angry? Do I want to feel bad?” The answer to all of those questions should be a resounding “NO, I want to feel GOOD!” Then, take responsibility for how you’re feeling. Make the commitment to completely own your feelings and emotions because only when you own your emotions will you be able to control and change them. I used to be constantly offended by things I saw and things said about me and I was miserable. Even worse, I had no power to change that misery because I neither took responsibility for it nor ownership of it. I’m not offended by anything anymore simply because I don’t want to be. I’ve learned that it is up to me. Nothing and no one can offend me without my permission. Make the change. It’s not the thing, it’s you. It sounds simple, and it is, but it is not easy…so what! Your happiness-your peace-is worth the effort. Get to work.